Don’t you hear it? No? Try again! It’s the SOUND of silence…:). The Food Channel isn’t squawking over the monitor in my office!
No, I’m not ignoring Nana, and she’s still kicking. The moment I described in: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2013/05/08/post-95-what-i-cant-say-to-nana-maude-while-buying-mega-champagne/ …. has come to fruition. After a month of research, Nana is now living in a 5-star nursing home, Greenlawn Rehab and Retirement Home, which is 5 miles from where she resided for 52 years. It was awarded the highest ratings on cleanliness, staff attentiveness, etc. in the state of Georgia 
.
As you can imagine, the voluminous passel of paperwork, phone calls and time spent packing up Nana’s 51-pound suitcase, necessitated my long absence from these hallowed cyber halls. So, my apologies for that…:). But THANK GOD, the airline didn’t charge the customary $90.00 for her obese valise.
However, applying for nursing home care is a SEPARATE Medicaid application, and the nursing home app hasn’t been approved yet.
Please say mega prayers that it IS approved. Otherwise, we’ll owe $5200 for her tenure at Greenlawn, and Nana will have to endure another grueling journey north. Her income is well below the maximum allowed, but even a minor error committed while navigating the mean streets of Georgia’s RED TAPE, could cause her app to be rejected.
Sadly, Nana was stunned by the news of her relocation. Apparently, my constant dialogue about our massive credit card debt/bleak finances caused by her financial baggage was lost on her. She was silent at first, but then, she started weeping. And I think Charlie felt worse than I did.
He kept saying, “We really don’t want to do this, but we’re broke”, which is true, and our debt isn’t going to dissipate until I can work FULL-TIME.
However, later on, she was THRILLED about living in Georgia again, with its balmy climate, and she can see all of her friends.
Our trip southward was no vacation, but I can’t say enough GOOD things about the staff of American Airlines and the Columbus/Jacksonville airports. Someone was always ready to assist with bags/a wheelchair/whatever. They made EVERYTHING pretty painless.
On the other hand, there’s a reason we call Nana – QUEEN MAUDE.
I realize that Nana can’t help being cold all the time. She’s NINETY-SIX. However, she’s often completely ridiculous.
We arrived at the La Quinta Inn (courtesy of Ben and Allicia’s Amex points!!) around 9:15 our first night. Not five minutes later, Nana said, “I won’t be able to sleep with that air condition on. I’m already freezing!” And, yes, she says it just like that: AIR CONDITION – without the ING, a Southern-ism, I guess.
“How about I turn it up to 75?” I offered.
Nana frowned.
“It’s 95 degrees out. I cannot sleep without air.”
Nana sighed.
“I’ll turn it up, and you bundle up with all the blankets on and see if you’re still cold.”
But Nana wouldn’t budge, so the AC went off, and after much discussion, I reserved another room for me. I was beyond exhausted, and I got nauseous after 64 minutes sans FREON-cooled air. The closest room was 2 doors down. I hated leaving her alone, but I didn’t know what else to do.
When I returned from booking another room, Nana said, “I need another blanket.”
“Why? The AC is off.”
Nana shook her head while giving the comforter an angry toss. “I can’t sleep with these, this thing-”
OMG…here we go. “What’s wrong with the blankets?” I asked, dreading her bizarro reply.
“Feel of them,” she snipped as if her bedding was manufactured from decomposing body parts…
I felt the sparkling white linen and ordinary cotton bedspread and shrugged.
“They’re fine. What’s wrong with them?” If they were a DARK color, THAT would be cause for hating the allegedly awful bedding because Nana will only tolerate PASTELS. She once demanded another room during a 3-day hospital stay in West Virginia in ’08 because the curtains were dark brown…
“I just don’t like the feel of them.
“There’s nothing wrong with their LINENS!”
But she persisted. With great annoyance, I called the front desk, knowing she wasn’t going to shut up about it until I did.
After 30 minutes, 2 phone calls and a trip to the office where, of course, they had no blankets, I was ready to strangle Nana.
“I can’t believe they don’t have any blankets. What kind of hotel is this?”
“The best we could afford, Nana – a FREE, 2-star hotel,” I answered. “And it’s JUNE for heaven sake, and all of the Eastern seaboard is experiencing unseasonably WARM temperatures,” I stammered.
Nana looked away.
At 11:45, another fucking BLANKET still hadn’t arrived. I sat at the desk, my shoulders drooping while contemplating adding a stiff blast of bourbon to Nana’s bedtime tea – when she asked…
“You okay?”
“I’m dying to take a shower. I think my sweat is SWEATING because it’s so damned hot in here.”
Nana’s lip quivered, and I immediately regretted that remark evoked by the guilt from banishing Nana to a HOME. But she could’ve worn a sweater over her pajamas like I KEPT suggesting or swaddled herself up in the allegedly icky bed clothes, and she’d be FINE. Then, I could turn on the AC just a bit and not have to sleep down the hall. BUT NO…welcome to my daily nightmare known as Nana MAUDE’s universe…
“Go on. I’ll be fine,” she said.
I had stayed fearing she’d have trouble with the dead bolt (with her arthritis) – or she’d forget to lock the door.
At midnight, I relented and went to MY room. She remembered the lock and the DO NOT DISTURB sign, but I didn’t rest easy. And, GUESS WHAT? Another blanket never arrived, and she slept just fine on the NON-Laura Ashley SHEETS, etc.
However, unfortunately, her primary physician (of 30+ years) forgot to sign Medicaid’s authorization form, so they couldn’t admit her to Greenlawn the next day.
In lieu of sleeping in separate rooms again, I booked a suite at the Marriott. I stayed there before (mentioned in this post: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2011/03/24/mrsa-the-onions-and-red-lobste/ )…
Anyway…the Marriott has a bedroom, and…
a kitchenette and a pull-out couch in the living room. So, Nana slept in the bedroom with the HEAT on, and I slept on the slab of concrete known as the sofa bed, with the AIR CONDITIONING chugging away.
FINALLY, two days after our arrival, on JUNE 21st, 2013, Nana was admitted to Greenlawn. She got weepy when I left for the hotel that evening about 7:30, but thank you, JESUS, she liked the pork, mashed potatoes and salad she had for lunch AND the lasagne they had for dinner!
By the time I departed for Ohio, Nana seemed happier than she’s been in months – even though yesterday on the phone, she said, “I’m unhappy, and I’ll always be, but I’m making the best of it…and Boots sat on my lap today.”
Boots, one of Greenlawn’s pets, and Ms. Pickles, another cat who scurried away before I snapped this photo (so named because she LOVES pickles, and she’ll snatch yours right off your plate). Nana loves cats, AND the dog named SUE, pictured below…
Sue, a really sweet Shi-Zhu. She belongs to one of the administrators, whose desk she’s lounging upon. And don’t you LOVE the bow in her hair?
Despite all the growing pains, I really think it’s the best place for her. She’s never alone except when her roommate’s at therapy or something. I spoke to the social worker today, and she offered to chat with the dietitian/nurse about an appetite stimulant because Nana’s lost 2 pounds in the last week and 10 pounds in the last 5 months.
She doesn’t eat enough whether she likes her meals or not. And that’s something her doctor here would NEVER have agreed to – especially because Nana hasn’t been to the doctor since last October because she simply didn’t want to get DRESSED! And now…she doesn’t have to…AND they have a beauty shop on site! What’s better than that?
Anywho…thanks for suffering through my laborious account about Nana’s new digs…
Over and out from the now QUIET abode of TENACIOUS BITCH and her band of truth spouting hippies…~TB
