I recently learned that Joe-Joe, one of my ex-husbands, repatriated back to the U.S. from Israel or somewhere thereabouts, which, I guess happened a couple of months ago. And remember I have 7 ex-spouses…or is it only 5? I have trouble remembering, kind of like that Brad Pitt disease discussed in this article:
http://www.esquire.com/features/brad-pitt-cover-interview-0613?link=rel&dom=yah_omg&src=syn&mag=esq
I can’t remember their faces sometimes either…or their proper names as opposed to DICKHEAD #1, etc., but ANYWAY…I do remember Joe-Joe, and he left the U.S. because of a job opportunity. The details are sketchy, something to do with the Infrastructure of archiving servers. I know how to turn a computer ON and off…so whatever Joe-Joe’s slamming new occupational digs were… I didn’t care cuz NOR was I impressed because he was BAILING on his son’s childhood, ya know?
This was sometime in ’95 when our son, Ford, was around 8. And this was the ex who cheated on me in such a BIZARRO/criminal fashion, which I mentioned in THIS post:
http://tenaciousbitch.com/2012/03/23/post-54-the-reckoning-in-southie/
After Joe-Joe booked across several ponds, he called Ford, maybe once a year. He sent a few birthday and Christmas gifts, most of which were completely inappropriate for Ford’s age/interests, making it glaringly obvious that Joe-Joe didn’t know CA-CA about his own kid.
In particular, I remember a pair of RED, satin gym shorts when Ford was 12. First of all, I don’t know ANY 12-year-old boy who would wear RED gym shorts, much less satiny ones that look like something stolen from A SOLID GOLD DANCER back in the 70s/80s. And the teary-eyed look on Ford’s face would’ve shredded the Scrooge’s heart WAY before the creepy ghost of Christmas Future arrived.
Not only did those shorts embarrass Ford, but he was hurt that his father thought he’d like RED fucking shorts. I wanted to strangle Joe, but I did not yet understand the POWER of my bitchiness and the POWER of my own abilities and such as I do now…but, the metachlorines are much stronger these days.
Anyway, once Ford hit high school, communications from Joe-Joe were nonexistent. I’m sure he missed his Dad, but he rarely talked about him.
Meanwhile, Ford and my husband, Charlie, became pretty close, despite frequent brawls during those prickly adolescent years. But their arguments stemmed from the usual growing pains when Ford stretched the LIMITS of his freedom to the demolition point by borrowing my car without asking and that sort of thing. However, luckily, those beautiful scream fests (HINT: SARCASM afoot) didn’t irreparably damage their step-family-dom. Eventually, t’was all in their rearview.
However, just before Ford turned 18, Joe-Joe wrote to me via snail mail, stating/requesting that:
A) He was rescinding child support on Ford’s 18th b’day though he would only be a senior in high school, which was contrary to our agreement, but what was I to do? He was 6,000 miles away, the bastard.
AND
B) Would I help him patch things up with Ford after a 5+ year silence?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…LOL, yes? Most women would’ve just told him to FUCK off, but…I’m not one of those people. In my opinion, that was FORD’S call, not mine as to whether or not he communicated with his dad. And at this point, I believe his dad was living in South Africa, but I’d have to check my journal. And it’s not like it matters, right? He was IN ABSENTIA…wherever he was.
Ford chose to email/call his dad, and now Joe-Joe is back in the states. Upon my discovery of such, my friends asked if I would file charges against Joe-Joe for back child support. Most of the time Joe hadn’t paid the full, court-ordered amount, and he didn’t pay anything for the first couple years- until I threatened to have his wages garnished when Ford was four or five. Therefore, he owes me somewhere around $10K with interest, give or take.
That said, given the damage Joe-Joe wreaked upon our lives – including teaching Ford to call me when a disconnect notice for the electric, etc., appeared upon our door when he was 11 since his dad proffered a mere $100/month after his expatriation, I decided it would be more fun to astrally project certain thoughts his way, such as:
1) A felony warrant for your arrest for back child support has been issued.
2) I am now proficient with various guns, one of which is an M-16.
3) I know where you live.
And LAST but not least:
4) I’m bringing my friends 
….
Who are mostly dead, and might SNACK on your face…but you’ve got good insurance, right?
And his reaction is depicted in the photo below:
Yeah, premature, spontaneous zombie-ism. It’s rare, but it happens.
And NO, Joe, your gargoyles and wizards housed within the hallowed walls of your coven can’t help you because you’ve been zombi-lombied (lobotomy resulting in zombie-ism) by Tenacious BITCH, and there’s no TREATMENT/hex to undue that! Ask ex-husband #6, who’s still trying to extricate himself from his bondage for the last 17 years…
ALL RIGHTY THEN, there you have it. Don’t cross TENACIOUS BITCH…cuz by the looks of these guys, it’s definitely NOT worth it…:)
LOVE and chocolate CHEESECAKE from fu#ked up central…
Hope your day is full of SUNSHINE and unicorns and maybe even WINNING LOTTERY TICKETS…
TENACIOUSBitch and her band of truth-spouting hippies…:)
P.S. I’m NOT going to pursue reclamation of any child support from Joe-Joe…I could use the money, but I just don’t care enough to bother…
© Tenacious Bitch 2013
