I was going to write another post about another man who wrong me, but I’m afraid a death in the family has usurped that rather juicy tome. And I’ve just gotta say, it’s time for death to take a frickin’ holiday!! Since 2004, we’ve lost my Aunt Lily, who was only 63, Max’s Dad Ashe (for the 411 on him – ck out: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2012/09/07/post-75-about-ashes-logic/ ) both my parents, our dog, Maggie, suddenly in ’09, my husband’s grandparents, our dog, Bart, and now SASHA my cat, who was half Maine Coon and half dog (at least that’s how she acted…:)).
I mentioned Sasha recently in this rather amusing post http://tenaciousbitch.com/2013/09/03/post-111-no-judging-my-transsexual-cat/ )….
Sasha, queen of cats, whose passing left an un-healable gash in my heart
Yes, I know – un-healable is NOT a word. It is today, dammit! And I’m devastated by her death. She’s not even 2 years old. She was lying on the kitchen table watching me make spaghetti and playing around, chasing a fly- didn’t act ill at all, and an hour later, maybe, I found her lifeless corpse in Nana’s room. I kept staring at her, thinking she couldn’t possibly be dead. She’s just a baby really.
Yes, I know it’s different with animals, but her life had just began. And it’s just NOT FAIR. Why her? Why not the horrible men who kidnapped that 14-year-old girl recently in – God – forget where – Arizona or somewhere, or the poor black stray who terrorizes Samantha through the dining room window all the time.
Yeah, the crazy drunk next door moved and left this black cat behind. She’s at least 12 years old and blind in one eye. I’d take her in, but she was so badly neglected before the woman moved, I’m afraid of what she might give my cats/dog – or the way she might treat them. She’s a mean little thing. And her death would be a blessing since she’s been so abused, etc.
And the strange thing is – I dreamed it. I’d forgotten all about it, but after the shock started to wear off, I remember waking up and being sickened by the sight of Sasha lying exactly where I found her. Only in the dream, she wasn’t dead. She was really sick. Shit – I hope that dream wasn’t supposed to be a warning, and I missed it. But if she had a seizure or a heart attack or something, she hadn’t been lying there for long. And if she found one of Nana’s pills, she probably wouldn’t have made it to the vet. Nana was really bad about dropping her meds. I vacuumed obsessively in there, but I found 2 in her chair right after she moved into the nursing home.
I just totally feel like I’ve had the wind knocked out of my life. I know she’s just a cat, but she and Samantha are the little girls I could never have. And Sasha was very different from most cats, very laid back. She was a stray. And she FOUND me. She saw me from across the street and came running up on our porch like she knew I would rescue her – like someone told her I was the one, and she kept coming back for weeks before I talked Charlie into letting me keep her because he allegedly doesn’t like cats.
But guess who was out back on the deck, chain smoking and sobbing after I told him about Sasha? Definitely a far cry from his behavior in this post: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2012/05/11/post-no-60-my-confession/ – and when she first dawned our doorstep, Charlie would try to shoo her off the porch, but she wouldn’t budge.
Obviously, she wasn’t skittish like most cats. She wasn’t afraid of much – not dogs, not loud people or loud music, not other cats – or thunderstorms – nothing really. The only things that bothered her were mechanical like the sound of the garage door or the squeaky springs on the oven door. It’s almost like since she lived in the wild for the first three months of her life – not much in nature could intimidate her. But maybe I’m reading too much into her personality.
I’ve cried so much, my head hurts, and my tear ducts must surely be empty. And this is the cat, of course, whose babies I delivered, and we still have Samantha, her 15-month old who is completely lost without Mommy. She’s been trolling the house aimlessly for hours since Sasha died.
We took Sasha to OSU to be autopsied. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t bother with something like that, but I want to know if she got into anything that maybe would be a danger to Raven (our black lab) or Samantha. And it only cost $100, which I didn’t think was bad, but we won’t get the report for THREE or FOUR weeks. Charlie did a pretty thorough search of the garage and couldn’t find any antifreeze leaking or anything toxic since Sasha had been in the garage this morning. She constantly dashes in there when you open the door to go to the freezer or something, and sometimes you don’t see her rush by. Occasionally, I actually put her in the garage on purpose when I’m eating breakfast because she drives me bonkers trying to jump/climb/scale the big screened TV the minute I sit down to eat. I really didn’t think there was anything in there that could hurt her.
But she never misbehaved when Charlie and I are eating (little dickens) only when it was just me. Samantha never does any of that, and she’s more prone to chew on things, so I never put her in the garage intentionally. So if Sasha did get into something in the garage, hopefully, Samantha was not exposed.
Even though I have to wait three weeks for the official report, I can call the pathologist in a couple of days to see if he found anything obvious like an aneurism or a heart attack. I thought maybe it might’ve been some old d-Con that we had set out awhile ago before we had the cats, but Charlie said that probably wouldn’t have killed her because she would’ve thrown it up, but we’ll see what the autopsy reveals.
See? LITTLE DICKENS…:)
I miss her so much already! So, when I recover from the latest chink in my armor, I’ll be back to lambasting bad men, the universe and the like…just thought I’d share.
Over and out from fracked up/off the hook/home of the Hotel California of crazy trains…
Tenacious BITCH and her band of truth-spouting hippies…
